What's Missing from Most TV Shows

I was watching Lost this week (actually, it was last week's episode - it took me a while to get to it), and after the first three minute segment, the ominous title sequence drifted towards me like it always does. If you're a Lost-o-phile, you know what I'm talking about. That one word drifts out of the blackness; it's creepy and ... well ... brief. This week, however, instead of creeping me out the opening sequence pushed a button in my head and I started thinking about all of the other shows that I really like this season: The Good Wife, The Mentalist, Stargate: Universe, Breaking Bad. They all have something in common, or rather they all lack something in common: a theme song.

Admittedly, all of these shows have some kind of acoustic introduction. A "riff", if you will, and they do set the mood. Those 1 or 2 bars of synthesized "wah-wah" can do a pretty good job of setting the tone for the show, but now that I've recognized a pattern I feel a little cheated. I don't watch Law & Order, but it's hard to live in the States and not instantly recognize its two-tone intro. Since I hate that show with the red-hot heat of a thousand suns, I'm going to blame this theme-song-attrition on the longest-running bad show of all time. Is this a money-saving technique? Are producers really going to make a difference in a show's running budget by not paying a composer for 45 seconds of mood music? I don't think so. In fact, there are a few great shows that do have theme songs, though they are becoming fewer and fewer.

Smallville (hooray Smallville!) has an uber-appropriate theme song: Remy Zero's Somebody Save Me, and it is hard to imagine how they could have done better. When I watch old seasons on DVD, I don't skip the title menu like other shows because I love that song and it gets me jazzed-up (yes, I said that) to watch the show. South Park is another show that has a theme show well-matched to the series: Primus's South Park Theme. It's goofy and precocious, like all Primus songs, and it's perfect for the show. Not surprisingly, a lot of reality shows like The Biggest Loser and Extreme Makeover: Home Edition have theme songs, usually the pop song, inspirational type. Apart from that there are no real standouts in the theme song category. Why not?

One argument could be that a theme song takes away from a drama's gravitas. Hmmm .... I can understand that, but anyone who takes this seriously has never seen Hill Street Blues or The Sopranos. Fantastic theme songs for both, and if anything they add to the show's dramatic appeal. Another argument can be that a bad theme song can ruin a show almost as quickly as Ted McGinley. Now we're getting somewhere. You genre show fans will remember how the laughable theme song to Star Trek: Enterprise made you change the channel for 60 seconds. Yet, though a bad show is only made worse by a bad theme song, a good show will easily overcome a lame theme, so I don't buy this argument either.

My suspicion is that the slow death of the theme song has more to do with technology than purse strings or Law & Order. I think one of my favorite gadgets, Tivo, is strangling the theme song. Think about it: what do you do once the title sequence for your favorite show comes up? Yep ... you fast-forward. Even the really good theme songs don't make you sit there and patiently await the first segment. In fact, you've probably become an expert at hopping over the title sequence, the first commercials, and network previews, stopping at exactly the right moment so that the show begins precisely when you hit "play". Folks, we are putting a lot of composers out of work. What producer is going to pay some brilliant musician $50,000 for a piece of music that no one will ever hear? I certainly wouldn't.

Thus, the days of Henry Mancini, Jack Elliott, and Mike Post are gone. I fear they will never return. I knew Tivo was a game changer, but this week I'm a little sad about it.

On a happy note, we do have a refuge for great theme songs at the moment. Apparently, HBO and Showtime are still invested in the art of the theme song. Deadwood, Dexter, Entourage, The Tudors, and my contemporary favorite Dead Like Me, all have excellent and well-matched theme songs. Another win for cable over network television.

Finally, a few recommendations. If you want to hear some really great theme songs, go to Youtube and check out some of my favorites: Hill Street Blues, Dead Like Me, Night Court, Smallville, The Muppet Show, and the best theme song of all time ... Johnny Quest.

P.S. -

Erica Durance, I love you.